Marriage is hard enough, because you have to learn to communicate properly and work at accommodating someone else–his or her opinions and wishes and quirks.  Dan and I have been through many difficult times together, just like any couple.  We’ve had our knock-out-drag-out fights.  We’ve given each other the silent treatment.  You name it, we’ve probably done it.

But.

IF (and that’s a big “if”) you both choose each other in the end, it works out somehow.  There’s a definite, daily consciousness about being there for the other person.  [Let me interject here.  If your spouse or significant other does not choose you in the end, it does not necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong.  You cannot control a person’s desire.  That’s their “hoop,” as Dan and I like to say.  You cannot step into another person’s driver’s seat and control the wheel.]

All that to say that I feel lucky that Dan still wants me in his life after 17 years of marriage.  All that to say that I’m floored with his involvement in Liliana’s everyday routine.  [We had made an agreement before the adoption, but I was wary for some reason, never having seen a father so involved.]  He’s been getting up in the middle of the night to be at her side.  He gets her up in the morning.  He takes her on long walks.  He was blessed with her first potty training moment (while I was on a conference call).  He carries on long conversations with her, which is hilarious, because she doesn’t really understand what he’s saying; she simply gabs back at him (with hands on hips and a multitude of facial expressions).

Have you heard Ben Folds’ “The Luckiest?”

Here it is…