Okay, so Dan’s reading The New Yorker last night, and suddenly he says, “You have to do this on your blog!”  He hands the magazine to me and points in the upper right-hand corner.  It’s an advertisement for The Soul Storage Company with the caption: “Is your soul weighing you down?  Store it!  In a painless outpatient procedure, Dr. David Flintstein can extract and store your soul in our state-of-the-art cold souls storage facility.”

What?  Really?

Perhaps it’s a joke.  But then I go to the website, and everything looks genuine, like someone really believes this stuff.  Even the doctor’s credentials are superb.  They have pictures of people’s souls; they have testimonials (even from the actor Paul Giamatti…wait!…Paul Giamatti?…something’s going on here…).

After a smidgen of investigating, I discover that Giamatti is in a new movie called Cold Souls, and this is the “support” website for the movie.  I have to say that whoever thought of this incredible idea, then backed it up with a very engaging website, is genius.  You really have to peruse the site.  Seriously.  It will put a smile on your face.

None of us know what a soul is, so that makes it all the more intriguing.  Let’s say you did want to relieve yourself of your soul.  How would you go about it?  Let’s see…well, here’s how it works on the website.  It starts off:

Do I actually have a soul?

Yes! (Unless we’ve already removed it for you.)

What does a soul look like?

Every soul looks different. They come in different sizes, colors, shapes and consistencies. You can see examples of some of our patient’s souls here.

How will it feel not to have a soul?

This is impossible to predict. Patients have described feeling “lighter” and more “carefree.” They experience “fewer dark thoughts.” They worry less and want less, and are therefore more content with their daily lives. Some describe the feeling as “empty” or “bored.”

Technically, it should be added, you will still retain approximately 5% of your soul.

What if I don’t like not having a soul?

We simply put it back. We don’t recommend going through the de-souling or re-souling procedure more than 6-7 times a year, but re-souling should restore your soul completely with few side effects.

Where will my soul be stored?

Your soul will be stored in a specially designed storage jar, then placed in a climate-controlled safety deposit box on our premises. Or, should you prefer to avoid New York City sales tax, your soul can be stored in our New Jersey warehouse.

Is it possible to rent someone else’s soul?

Absolutely! We have numerous souls from a variety of backgrounds available in our Soul Storage Catalog.

Will I become that person?

Absolutely not. Incorporating another person does not mean you gain all the donor’s knowledge, their talents, or the wealth of their experience. You will remain yourself. You will, however, be informed by the donor’s soul, which was in turn informed by the life they led. The donor’s soul will probably affect your moods, your creativity and other aspects of your personality that may be hard to put a finger on. We also prescribe Pseudoplacebomana, and anti-rejection medicine, to all of our clients to ensure your body will not reject the soul. Simply take 1-2 10 mg tablets every 4-6 hours for one week after the procedure.

You have to admit.  Highly creative.  I’m impressed.

And for those of you who want to see, like I did, the trailer for the movie, here it is:

Not sure what the baby thing at the end represents, but I suppose that means we’ll have to see the movie!

Happy Friday, everyone!  Have a lovely weekend.

Dan and I are looking forward to seeing 500 Days of Summer tonight.  I’ve heard even the soundtrack is good.  Can’t wait.

[Post image: Picture by Johnny Turrell used in The New York Times]