Years ago, when I was still teaching high schoolers, the movie Life is Beautiful came out, and it was the topic of much discussion as my students entered and exited my room during passing periods.  “Go see it, Elliott,” they’d say.  [They always knocked off the “Mrs.”  I think it was their way of including me.]

So, Dan and I saw it.  And were disturbed by it.  Basically, the story is about a man who creates an imaginary world for his son in a concentration camp–in order to protect him.  He pretends they are in the middle of a game, and that the reward is a tank.  They must be cautious and careful…wise, too.  Years later, the son is grateful for his father thinking of him in that way.

Now, that’s a beautiful, tender story, right?  But I’ll tell you why Dan and I were disturbed.  The man was lying to his son!  It didn’t matter why; how could his son ever trust him again?  Call me cruel-hearted (in fact, many of my students did, when we talked about it later), but I still don’t understand.

I read, with horror, right after 9/11, that a mother had left a Time Magazine on her kitchen counter and when her five-year-old son asked if the picture on the cover (of a plane going into the World Trade Center) was a new movie, she answered, “Yes,” because she didn’t think it was fair to tell him the truth.

Really?  How old does your child have to be before you give him or her a semblance of the truth?  Just a smidgen?  I understand not wanting to hurt your child, but sometimes truth is the best learning tool.  They have to know.  Or are you waiting for your children to leave your house to learn the truth?  Heaven forbid!  They’re going to have some tough years, and all out there, without having you to help with the processing of it.

So, question for today.  What are some instances in which you might imagine it might be moral to lie to your children or to someone else?

Or is it always wrong?  [Feel free to disagree with me here.]

There are no right or wrong answers here.  This is an old question with as many people on one side as there are on the other, so you won’t get any judgment from me.

I’m curious.