I tell the following story not as an inspirational one, in the sense that you’ll feel happy at the end of it, but as an urgent heartfelt plea to change what we’re doing with our children.

I have a friend–let’s call her M.–who wrote me an e-mail the other day.  She had a genuine question for me, and I am posing it to you, my dear readers.

M. has a wonderful family of, let’s say, several well-behaved children (really, they’re exquisitely polite!), and recently, she invited a young child for lunch.  Let’s call him R.

R. was an all-around brat.

“R., would you like a snack?”

“Yes, and get me something to drink, too!”

“Would you like a cookie or some crackers?”

“I don’t like cookies with frosting.  What other cookies do you have?”

One of M.’s children offers a toy.  R. says, “No, I’m the guest, so I’ll choose.”

At lunch.  “R., would you like some dip for your chicken tenders?”

“No!”

Ad nauseam.

R. continues in this vein.  “I want more juice.”  “I want more watermelon.”

Now, we must forgive this child and think either he’s having a very bad, horrible, no-good day, and he’s forgotten everything his poor parents have ever taught him, or we might assume that he hasn’t been taught well at all.

Before I tell you the kicker to this whole story, I need to say that this friend and I constantly talk about our desire to raise kind children, children who say “Please” and “Thank you” and “I’m sorry.”  Children who will make a difference in their world by being grateful and kind.

They sit down to lunch.  Two bites in, R. shouts, “We didn’t pray.  I’ll say it!”  He quickly intones, “Dear Jesus, thank you for this beautiful day and for our family and friends.  Amen.”

Which would you rather: a child who is kind and considerate, or the opposite who stops everything to pray to Jesus?

To play devil’s advocate, my friend says at the end of the e-mail: “Now, obviously, many families would expect both, and one could argue that always tacking on ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ may not be heartfelt, either.”

Talk amongst yourselves.

[Post image: Figurine by twang on stock.xchng]