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Why I Hate Snark

I don’t do “heated” posts very often, but today is one of those.  A week ago, I saw something on Facebook that stunned me.  I see snark all the time on Facebook, but this was different.  This was someone I highly respected doing it, and it just floored me.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  We all make mistakes, me included, but this, this was an organized and thought-driven post that had required ample foresight and time.  It was premeditated, you might say.

Two things get my goat.

Snark or meanness directed at anyone and…

When someone dismisses me, as though I’m invisible.  The latter will be another topic for another day.

The first comes from, I think, being helpless as a child against an angry and volatile father.  It comes from wanting to protect anyone who can’t protect him- or herself.  It comes from making the connection between elementary schoolgirls’ cliques and what we’re doing in a very public forum on the Web.  I hate it.

Wait.  Was I unclear?  I abhor it and wish it would go away.  Someone said once that if you stand by and do nothing, you’re just as bad.  So, I’m standing up.  Letting myself be heard.

Rachel Held Evan’s calling to task of Mark Driscoll, the paster of Seattle’s Mars Hill Church, is NOT snark.  She’s standing up to a bully.

Snark is when one person rips another to shreds, just for the fun of it, just to show he or she (the perpetrator) is superior to the victim.  It’s pervasive.  It’s ruthless.  It’s unacceptable.

Stop being mean.  By ripping on someone else—whether they be dorky and different or better looking and more talented, or simply just in-your-way—you’re broadcasting to the world your own insecurities.  By tearing down someone else, you’re not making yourself appear any cooler or hipper.  You’re simply clogging up the air space with your own black hatred.  And all those “I’m SO reposting this!”  and “Ha, ha, that’s hilarious!” comments just prove that you’ve created a monster, a feeding frenzy that does nobody any good.

What do you tell your sons and daughters when kids bully them at school?  Would you like to be bullied?  Laughed at in a public forum—where everyone can read what’s been written about you?  I think not.

Plain and simple: this is why dear, sweet children and adults have committed suicide, suffered from depression, lost friends, had to relocate, felt unsafe returning to school (or wherever the abuse source is located).

I’ve already posted on snark, back when Gwyneth Paltrow started her website GOOP.

I’m doing it again.  I’m not even sure if it will do any good.  But I have to try.  And heaven knows, I’m not pure on this, although I monitor myself very closely.  Coming from a family fluent in the language of sarcasm, I’ve tried to rip it from my life.  If you catch me doing any form of snark, call me on it.  I’d appreciate it.

[Post image: Outcast 2 by lusi on stock.xchng]

9 Comments


  1. Don Rogers
    Jul 16, 2011

    I understand. I fully agree with you.


    • Elissa
      Jul 16, 2011

      I think we’ve lost the face-to-face contact, and with it, has gone our inhibitions of what we’re willing to say about and to others…


  2. Heather
    Jul 16, 2011

    I wholeheartedly agree, Elissa…and, still, there are those who would say such horrible, mean, things face to face 🙁


    • Elissa
      Jul 16, 2011

      True, true…it never fails to amaze me how mean we can be to each other…


  3. Lori Snyder Beatty
    Jul 16, 2011

    Bullied and no one standing up for you, yep I remember that.


  4. Elissa
    Jul 17, 2011

    OK, so. I’ve been clarifying over on Facebook—about what snark is and isn’t. Here’s one of my responses to a question regarding the blogs Stuff Fundies Like and Jesus Needs New PR.

    Stuff Fundies Like and Jesus Needs New PR both are trying to expose injustices and hypocrisies within the fundamentalist segment (which they should). Wow, we were all hurt by the church in some way. BUT, when it crosses over the line into making fun of what idiots “they” are, that’s where I draw the line. Sure, it’s funny (sadly so), and sure you want “them” to feel a little pain, because after all, THEY so easily disperse pain, but you’re not creating any dialogue, just an angry frenzy. Does that make sense? I guess I long for the day where a fundie and a liberal theologian AND an atheist can get along—where none of them are threatened by what the others believe. Now, that won’t happen, because there’s a REASON fundies believe what they do. They’re not accepting ANY scientific evidence that’s been current for the past 200 years, so there’s nothing you can do about that. So, snark, in my book, is something that shuts down peace or reconciliation. It’s NOT something that exposes hypocrisies or wrongdoing. The latter NEEDS to be done whenever we run into it. Hopefully, that clears it up a little more?


    • terry
      Jul 17, 2011

      Thanks for clarifying! I didn’t see the Facebook posts. I hope you don’t see that fundies are the only ones with snark? I see it across the board, from all groups.

      Did you see Rachel’s post about Driscoll’s response? http://rachelheldevans.com/mark-driscoll-response.

      Interesting post as usual, Elissa!


      • Elissa
        Jul 18, 2011

        Terry,

        Oh no! I didn’t mean to imply that all. The two blogs mentioned are NOT written by fundamentalists. They’re attacking fundamentalists. So, yes, I think EVERYONE is capable of snark. Everyone. Including me. I try to be really conscious, though, about allowing discussion, and not shutting the door to it (and that’s what snark does, I believe).

        Yes, thanks so much for including Rachel’s response. That way everyone can get the second part of the story. Thanks, Terry!

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